Real Life - 70 years of family and friendship
Seventy rotations around the sun is a reeeeally long time, isn’t it? I don’t mean it with a negative connotation, I am actually quite in awe!
My dad turned 70 at the end of May and in April we all got together, while my brother and sister-in-law were visiting from the US, for a long lunch to celebrate.
In years gone by, our family have been pretty big on parties. There were always 18th’s and 21st’s in our house and any birthdays that my parents had that ended in a ‘0’ usually involved a party as well. But this party was a bit more low key and just a really lovely way to all get together to celebrate my dad.
Throughout my life, my parents have always had a big network of friends and I probably never appreciated it and the impact it had on our lives until I was much older. Many of mum and dad’s friendships were forged during their early adult years, working in organisations in the 70’s that “were like family” (so they’ve told me maaaaany times). There was also the extra layer that was added when they met the siblings of the people they worked with - that’s how my parents met. My mum lived in a block of flats at Taringa and my dad lived upstairs. It wasn’t until my aunty, who worked with my dad and his flat mate, came to visit my mum one day and the connection was made as they saw her walk in off the street. “What are you doing here?!” my dad yelled, “Visiting my baby sister!” said my aunty. Somewhere in the middle there is a story about eggs being thrown from a balcony (I’m guessing to get blonde-haired-babe’s attention! aka: my mum) but I’m a bit sketchy on the details! And the rest is history… so they say!
All of mum and dad’s friends (and their kids) became a big part of our family’s story and had a lot to do with forming my brothers’ and my appreciation for the importance of friendship and the role our friendships have had in our lives. Friends are your history. They know your story, but they’ve also been part of it too.
My brothers and I had decided to keep the formalities to an absolute minimum at my dad’s lunch but when his mate, Mick, called us the night before asking if he could say a few words and then arrived at lunch carrying something big, draped in a sheet, I really wondered what we were in for!
My dad has known Mick since they was in high school. He’s his oldest mate. When he got up to say a few words he unveiled this battered old blue-grey suitcase and went on to tell us that it was actually the suitcase that my dad has bought him for his 21st birthday that he was re-gifting back to him! Have a look at the little plaques. Inside there were lots of other little items that each had a story of their friendship, including the luggage tags from trips they took together that were still attached to the suitcase. Many laughs were had and memories were relived.
I am incredibly grateful to my parents for the effort and energy they put into maintaining these friendships, some for over 50 years.
Friendship isn’t always easy and it isn’t always linear. Friendship requires boundaries, compromise, acceptance, respect, understanding, trust…. vulnerability… and an ability to ride the ‘waves of life’ with one another.
I don’t ever want to wish the years away, but I do look forward to when our time comes to move to the next generation and for our boys to appreciate - as adults - that same love, longevity and foundation that Grant and I have in our friendships and the richness these relationships have added to their lives… 31 more rotations to go!
S. x